Crystalline
by Staarchild
Summary: -DELAYED UNTIL I HAVE A WORKING COMPUTER- Blair has watched Buck from afar since he came to Strangetown. But now they are friends, it's harder for him to control his feelings. His life isn't about to become like the romantic shoujo manga he daydreams about any time soon, surely? WARNINGS: CONTAINS SWEARING, PURPLE PROSE INTERLUDES, BOY X BOY, SLIGHTLY SEXUAL SITUATIONS
1. Chapter One: Awakening

**CHAPTER 1: AWAKENING**

* * *

_Blair saw intense white light. He wasn't sure what it was or why it was there, but it blinded him enough to know something wasn't right. He heard a faint beeping and muffled commotion and his surroundings became clear to him. He was in hospital. And Uncle Danny was looming over him._

* * *

I looked around groggily, confused at the sight before me. A clean, bright white hospital room with flowers and cards beside me. Uncle Danny was there, watching over me with his fierce hazel stare. And gripping onto his arm anxiously was Aunt Lisa, whose face had turned into one of expectance as my eyes fluttered open slowly. The beeping sound became clearer, ringing in my ears. Uncle Danny narrowed his eyes at me.

"You stupid bastard!" he growled, balling his fists. I gulped; there was no escaping his over-protective rage here. I was in a hospital bed hooked up to drips.

"Why did you run out in front of that fucking truck, huh?! We thought it would kill you. You stupid idiot!"

"Danny, calm down! He's awake now isn't he?" Aunt Lisa countered softly.

I blinked tightly as I felt my chest tense up. I was scared. I was a fish out of water all over again. And what about James? I was going to see if he was alright. I never expected this. I blinked again, feeling a single hot tear escape. As I opened my eyes, I saw Uncle Danny's face soften, and his hand touched my arm. I heard him sigh, slightly shakily.

"I'm sorry kid. I... just didn't want to lose you as well. Losing Mark was hard enough. Stop causing a worry for me and your Aunt Lisa, please." he said quietly.

I nodded my head, before realising how much it fucking hurt. I grunted, and Aunt Lisa rushed over the metre or so to my bed and kissed my forehead.

"Do you want more painkillers sweetie?" she asked me.

"Uh-uh. I just made my head hurt, that's all." I replied, my voice slightly hoarse from not speaking, "How long have I been, uh, out of it?"

"Almost a week, kid." Uncle Danny replied.

The beeping sound was beginning to annoy me. I was like a hyper speed version of the Hampsterdance played on a loop directly into my left ear.

"Can you turn that beeping off? It's annoying me already." I grumbled.

"That's your monitor. You'll have to put up with it. You are in hospital you know." Aunt Lisa sighed.

"Hey, kid, I think visiting time's over now." Uncle Danny said as a nurse put her head around the door to tell him visiting time was over. I smiled.

"OK. Bye Uncle Danny, bye Aunt Lisa." I said. Aunt Lisa gave me one last hug before she and my uncle left. I was now alone, to think about what was next, and what had come before. I closed my eyes.

* * *

_The sakura trees lined the path neatly, coating my periphal sight with a soft, pale pink. The soft breeze carried the silky petals along, some brushing alongside my cheeks like smooth, crystalline tears. In front of me I saw a figure. The perfect figure. As I walked cautiously closer, he became clearer. The slightly overgrown blonde hair swooping over his forehead towards his sky blue eyes, fluttering gently in the wind. Those slightly plump lips, slightly parted as he breathes in and out. Those shining blue orbs, set like gemstones in his pale, angelic face. It was James, no doubt, and how relieved I was to see his face again._

_The diaphanous sunlight streamed through the gaps in the sakura canopy above our heads. I sighed contentedly; he was safe, he was here, he was mine. His aquamarine eyes met my emerald ones, like crystals they shone, emitting the light of our love. He brushed his hand up my arm, back down and softly took my cold hand in his warm one. The contact made me shiver. He was so ice cold, yet so warm like a creamy mug of hot chocolate. He was delicious, my eyes savoured his beauty as our faces inched closer._

_The spark. There it was. Bursting like fireworks as our lips met. His smooth lips were moving against my bitten, slightly rough ones. His cool warmth melted me as I felt his hand run through my dark chocolate hair. The electricity coursed through us both; we were connected, fused by our mouths, together in harmony. I felt his tongue poke at my lip, asking for entrance. I parted my lips slightly, allowing him to explore the hot cavern of my mouth. My tongue brushed against his and I shivered. Our tongues curled around each other, dancing a ballet too perfect to not have been choreographed over several years, but this was improvised by our deep passion for each other. It felt right, it was right. James was my love and I was his, and that was the way it was meant to be. It felt as though it was an eternity before it was over, and I felt empty when it did, but four little softly spoken words was all it took to sweep me away into a state of euphoria._

_"I love you, Blair."_

* * *

It was morning in the hospital. I had been awake for a week, but they were still monitoring me incase I was severely brain damaged. You see, I had sustained a small brain injury when I was hit. Of course, it wasn't that severe as I was now out of the ICU, but they still wanted to make sure it wasn't going to affect me in the long run. I had spent a lot of my time here either with Uncle Danny and Aunt Lisa, drawing in notepads or daydreaming.

Judging by my iPod, it was Tuesday. A typical July Tuesday. I pressed play and was rewarded with the symphonic delights of Apocalyptica. Ruska, to be exact. A beautiful song for some beautiful daydreams.

The next thing about my surroundings I noticed was my headphones being gently remove from my ears. I looked up suddenly, then quickly rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't dreaming. But I wasn't and here he was. His blonde hair sweeping over his blue eyes. It really was him.

James.

* * *

**AN: Oooooh James is here! Wonder what he has to say? Looks like you'll have to wait for the next chapter! I promise I won't take as long to update as I did with the story this continues off of (which was shit anyway) although typing on an iPod pisses me off so much. Turning it sideways does help slightly though, it's just a bit big for me -_-**

**BTW Ruska by Apocalyptica really is a beautiful song and I think it would go really well with Blair's dream sequence.**

**Thank you for reading :) xx**


	2. Chapter Two: The Visit

**CHAPTER 2: THE VISIT**

* * *

_Time slowed to nothing as my mind processed the face in front of me. That soft, honey blonde hair. Those glittery blue eyes. That understated, yet prominent, smile. It was him, alright. James Grunt. The love of my life. But why was he even here?_

* * *

"Hey Blair... I heard, uh, your aunt told me you were awake so I thought I'd just, y'know, see how you were doing." James said quietly, his voice cracking slightly. I swallowed, before smiling appreciatively at him.

"Thanks." I replied.

He moved closer to me and pulled up a chair next to my bed. He arranged a new sketchpad, a card and a canvas carefully on the bedside. He smiled rather weakly at me, and I smiled softly back. He sat down and looked into my eyes. His crystalline blue eyes seemed somewhat melancholy as they were piercing my very soul, although judging by his behaviour he did not mean to show it. I found that intense stare of his entrancing me into what he was saying, as it always did.

"Your aunt told me you filled your sketchpad, so I thought I'd get you another. Looking out for a fellow art student, right?" James laughed awkwardly as he pointed out the sketchpad. The cover was grey with large steel blue dots arranged in rows and a neon blue paint splatter effect coming up from near the bottom left corner. It looked kinda cool. I bowed my head slightly in appreciation at James.

"Y'know, lots of people have been talking about you. I guess being hit by a truck causes a lot of gossip, huh? Well, they've been talking a lot about me as well but..." he trailed off and gulped, clearly not wanting to talk about, but he shook it off nonetheless and continued, "I guess a house burning down would do that. But enough about that, how are you?"

"Well I-I guess I'm OK. I mean, I broke my arm but I, uh, I'll be fine in a few weeks. Uh, a-are you OK? After what, uh, happened?" I asked hesitantly. James looked up at me and, although his posture suggested a brave and composed demeanour, his eyes told a different story. Those luminous blue orbs glistened as they glazed over with a layer of tears he was straining to not let spill.

"Um, I guess..." he mumbled weakly, trailing off as he blinked hard, "Tank's looking after me now. He threw Ripp out. He's living with the Smiths in their spare room. Funny, isn't it?"

The strained giggle in his voice reverberated through my soul, causing a deep ache in my chest. This was the first time I had seen him like this, and already I hated it. I glanced towards his eyes, which were beginning to overflow with glassy tears. He cleared his throat and stood up.

"James?"

He headed towards the door, and turned to me as I called out his name.

"I'm glad you're alright," he mumbled, barely composed as a few tears began to slide down his now rosy cheeks, "By the way, from now on, please call me B-Buck."

That was the last thing he said to me before rushing out, leaving me alone again.

* * *

It had been three days since James... sorry, _Buck's_ visit, and it was time for me to go home. The doctor told me there was no permanent brain damage, and gave me some painkillers incase my arm started hurting again. I put my pajamas into the grey overnight bag Aunt Lisa had brought for me, sighing. How relieved I was to be leaving here, after being stuck in the same claustrophobic room for almost 3 weeks. Granted, I was in a coma for one of those weeks, but still. I picked up the various, and mostly unread, magazines which were piled up on my bedside table and put them in the bag on top of my pajamas. I picked up the magazine on the top of the pile.

"Hmmm, _Mode:Live_." I mumbled to myself, inspecting both sides before putting it back in the bag. I'm looking forward to reading that, it looks quite interesting, I thought. I picked up the sketchpad and smiled. This thing had been keeping me occupied all this time, distracting me from the magazines I kept getting from Aunt Lisa every time she visited me. And Buck had given it to me... Buck. He hated that name. As long as I have known him, he's gone by the name James. I guess his father must have named him Buck. Maybe he wants to live by that name in honour of his father. I sighed softly, placing the sketchpad carefully into the bag. I looked around, seeing what I could pack into the bag next. A canvas painting caught my eye. Canvas painting... didn't Buck give me that? I took hold of it carefully and inspected it.

The image painted onto the canvas was one of the highway going through Strangetown, looking towards the Smith's house. I could see that it was drawn at the beginning of sunset, as there was a slight red-orange hue to the dusty, clayish colour of the sand. He has included the lone palm tree on the enbankment with its long shadow, which I sit under sometimes in the early evening when it is cooler outside and... there's no way that could be _me_, right? By the palm tree on the enbankment there was a figure. A figure with brown hair, the bangs coming over his forehead. A figure wearing those ripped skinny jeans I love to wear. I was me alright. I smiled, and for the first time in a while it shone in my eyes too. The bottom right hand corner had a signature: J Grunt. I sighed happily, before wrapping it in my towels and placing it very carefully into the bag.

* * *

After I had done packing, it was time to wait for Uncle Danny to come pick me up. He said he was coming at around 3pm. I looked at my phone. It was 2:52pm. I sat and waited quietly, glancing at my phone now and then. 2:59pm. The time dragged along at a snail's pace as I tapped my fingers on my thigh, waiting. 3:04pm. Should I go outside and meet him? He did tell me to wait in my room though... 3:12pm. I was just about to get a magazine out when I heard Uncle Danny talking to a nurse outside. I smiled, relieved. I was finally going home.

"Right kid, get off your butt! It's time to go home." Uncle Danny enthused as he walked in, "I'll carry your bag."

I walked alongside Uncle Danny towards the main doors, basking in the sunlight I hadn't seen much of in the hospital. The warm air hit me, and for once it felt so refreshing. It was fresh, open, clear, and I loved it.

* * *

**AN: Thank you for reading! This chapter seemed to take forever to write. And my iPod was being annoying again. The amount of typos I had to correct... if there are still any typos I apologize.**

**Also, I wrote the majority of this on a snow day. Yep, I was off school because of snow - at the _end of March_. British weather is messed up.**

**Thank you again xD**


	3. Chapter Three: Freedom

**CHAPTER THREE: FREEDOM**

* * *

_The sun streamed through my bedroom window, the rays arranged in lines, neatly shining down onto my sketchpad. I inhaled as I closed my eyes for a moment, letting everything wash over me._

* * *

My iPod was on shuffle, and my headphones were turned up loud. I focused on the song playing, the lyrics, the melody, the rhythm. It was a song by one of my favourite bands, which pleased me.

* * *

_Lie to me, tell me I'm like you_

_Tell me I'm beautiful, tell me I'm cool_

_Lie to me, patronize me_

_Talk to me "like that" you know we like that_

* * *

The drawing was half complete. I sighed in relief. All of the lines were mapped out, traced along with a heavier hand, and light pencil shading had been applied to guide me when it came to adding colour. I smiled, feeling proud. An entire afternoon was spent getting to this stage, and I was safe in the knowledge that I was using my time wisely. I was especially proud of the tree to the side of the drawing; it was meticulously detailed, with individual leaves and branching twigs. It must have taken me about an hour just to draw it, which didn't bother me as I include even the little details. That's a Virgo alright, I thought to myself.

"Blair! Dinner's ready!" Aunt Lisa shouted from my now-open bedroom door, hands on her apron-clad hips. I hadn't even noticed the door opening. I snapped out of my thoughts, took out my headphones, turned the music off and went downstairs to the dining room. Aunt Lisa was waiting for me, a plate of piping hot chilli in one hand, and a bowl heaped full with grated cheese in the other.

"Seriously young Blair, when I call you down for dinner you get your ass down here!" she nagged.

"I wasn't that long, was I?"

"Whatever. Listen, since it's your first full day out of the hospital I made you a treat. Chilli, your favourite! I even put extra jalapeños in yours, because God knows you like it spicy!" Aunt Lisa beamed, her words twinkling like sugary glitter. Typical of her, that was. I don't get how she can be so happy all of the time. Even the happiest person alive has down moments, but oh no, not Aunt Lisa. She is the personification of candyfloss; sweet and fluffy. I smiled and took a seat at the table.

Mmmmm, chilli. It was so good. It was so good I almost didn't notice the semi-awkward silence which brewed. The spicy chilli goodness mixed with the juicy meat and the stringy cheese melted in my mouth, and damn it felt nice. Especially after all that hospital food. The silence grew further and the atmosphere became uncomfortable.

"Son, why did you run out like that?" Uncle Danny said suddenly, breaking the silence.

"Danny! Can we not?" Aunt Lisa half-shrieked at him.

"No, Lisa! We - well, I - need to know what lead Blair to do it!"

"Umm, I'm right here. Don't talk about me like I'm not." I cut in, unenthused.

"Sorry. Why'd you do it, son?"

"The fire... I needed to see if h- they were alright."

"Who?" Aunt Lisa enquired.

"The Rolling Stones, Lisa. They did a concert here and decided to chill out by the burned-down house on the highway. I even caught a glimpse of Mick Jagger admiring the cactuses. Young Blair wanted to see them too, so bad he forgot to look before crossing." Uncle Danny said, obviously sarcastic, then exasperated "The Grunts, Lisa, the Grunts!"

I sighed, got up and walked out. I couldn't deal with any kind of interrogation. They couldn't know. They would be so mad at me. I ran upstairs, grabbed my sketchpad and iPod, and ran back down and out of the front door. I couldn't deal with them right now. I felt a single tear leak from my eye. Shit.

I ran to my thinking spot, the one Buck had painted in his painting. I sat under the shade of the palm tree. The sun was hot, beating down on the sand. Even under the shade, the air was still and warm. It was better than the excruciating heat though, so I brought up my knees, put my arms across them and curled up. I needed to cry. I needed to get these emotions out. My iPod was playing and I focused on the words, as I always did when I was thinking, or if I was upset.

* * *

_Do you know what it's all about_

_Are you brave enough to figure out_

_Know that you could set your world on fire_

_If you are strong enough to leave your doubts_

* * *

I stayed curled up for what must have been half an hour, before I felt someone's presence next. I looked up, face streaked with eyeliner and tears. He looked back at me and smiled sympathetically.

"Hey, Blair..."

* * *

**AN: Oh, who has come to see what's up with Blair? Yay cliffhanger. It's a bit short because I kinda had a bit of writer's block with this one and I just wanted to get it finished. Oh well. Sorry not sorry for the bombardment of lyrics, they ain't stopping any time soon - future plot devices FTW. If you read this far you are a saint and I shall knight you and be very happy with you. Thank you for reading :D**

**Songs mentioned: Underachiever by Pitchshifter, Walking On Air by Kerli**


	4. Chapter Four: Control vs Impulse

**CHAPTER FOUR: CONTROL VS IMPULSE**

* * *

A voice emerged from the silence, disrupting Blair from his thoughts. It sounded familiar, comforting. He felt his heart skipping a beat, and his tears stopping. He knew he had come to rescue him.

"What's wrong?" the voice asked. I looked up, tear-streaked green eyes meeting inquisitive blue ones. Buck was looking down at me, a concerned expression on his face. I stared into those luminous crystals, blue as the cloudless sky above us, and I felt safe. It was almost poetic, the sun illuminating his precious face. I blinked, it was too dream-like.

"Blair, you're zoning out."

I snapped out of my thoughts once again to see Buck, now crouching down to my level, holding my shoulders as he looked into my eyes. I wiped my eyes, smudging my eyeliner even more.

"Nothing... just kinda stressed." I replied, my voice cracking.

"What about?" he asked, sitting down beside me.

"My uncle keeps talking about the accident. He wants to know why I ran out like that... I can't do it!" I cried, trying to regain my composure only to explode with emotion once more. Buck held me in his arms and began to rock me gently, whispering in my ear.

"It'll be alright, Blair. I promise."

He understood me.

"So, there was a reason you ran out then." Buck said gently, being careful not to provoke me.

"Yeah... but I can't tell Uncle Danny, he'll be real pissed." I answered, now calm after my episode.

"Do you want to tell me?" Buck asked calmly. I paused for a minute, before forcing myself to tell him the truth. I needed to, even if it was hard.

"I heard about the fire. I..." I paused awkwardly, trying to find the words, "I wanted to make sure you were alright."

Buck was taken aback, but looked gently into my eyes. His eyes were full of gratefulness and were so inviting to me.

"That's the nicest thing someone has ever done for me. I never knew you cared." he whispered.

"I-I just get worried if s-someone I care about is hurt, that's all!" I blurted out, embarrased incase he figured out I liked him.

"No, I really do appreciate it." he said softly, "I care about you too, you know? I saw you out of my window crying so I came to see if you were alright. It's what friends do."

I felt him come closer to me, until our noses were almost touching. His warm breath tickled my lips as it hit them. My breath hitched and my heart lurched in my chest, thumping wildly. He put his hand on my shoulder and stroked it down my arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind it. I felt a luminescent blush creep along my cheeks. I stared into his sky blue eyes, and saw a look of care, of apprecation, of kindness in them. This was it, right? My head spun as I tried to make sense of the situation. His lips opened.

"Thank you for caring about me. I care about you too." he whispered, before pressing his lips to mine. My heart jumped as I closed my eyes. I moved my lips against his as the kiss deepened. Buck's lips were so smooth, they felt wonderful against mine. My head was swimming as he ran a hand through my hair. I sucked on his bottom lip, and was met with a small, faint moan from Buck. I smirked. I felt Buck's tongue poke between my lips, asking for entrance. I parted them slightly, and our tongues begun to dance around each other. We were together. We were one. It felt... nice.

Time melted into nothing, and it was just us. I was now lying on the sand, our tongues continuing to dance as our teenage hormones raged. The sky was starting to get an orange hue as I felt Buck's knee grind against my crotch and I noticed I was quite aroused by the whole situation. I groaned into his mouth, and felt him smirk against my lips...

I heard the opening bars of Dr Feelgood and realised my phone was ringing. Damn! My hand flew from under Buck's shirt as we snapped out of our make out session. I answered the phone half annoyed, half thankful. I then shot the phone away from my ear in fear of my eardrums exploding.

"BLAIR WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!" It was Jill Smith, "YOUR UNCLE DANNY IS HERE LOOKIN FOR YOU! GET YOUR ASS HERE!" She wasn't one to mess around. I hurriedly collected my things and straighted myself up, Buck watching me bewilderedly the whole time. I went to run off when I felt a hand wrapped around my wrist. I turned around to see Buck clinging to me.

"This never happened." Buck's blue eyes were intensely staring into mine as he said those words in a cold, shaky voice. I could see fear in those eyes, but I could also see some kind of desperation. I nodded my head affirmatively and turned to walk away. I wanted just to get out of there. I couldn't deal with him right now. I wanted him too much to control myself, as what just happened proved. And I had to control myself.

I had to keep my distance from Buck Grunt. No doubt about it.

* * *

**AN: Thanks for reading this far! *tumbleweed***

**Shit I haven't updated this in so long! I hate when it takes 2 months to write a chapter. I blame my ipod being shit to type on (again), damn writer's block and my exams. After my last few exams I have 3 months of doing nothing so excpect more chapters :)**


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